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The Awakening
A time comes in your life
when you finally get it... when in the midst of
all your fears and insanity you
stop dead in your tracks, and somewhere the
voice inside your head cries out -
ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying
or struggling to hold on. And, like a child
quieting down after a blind
tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder
once or twice, you
blink back your tears, and through a mantle of wet lashes
you begin to look at
the world through new eyes. This is your awakening.
You realize that it's time
to stop hoping and waiting for something to
change or for happiness, safety and
security to come galloping over the next
horizon.
You come to terms with the
fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are
not Cinderella (after the Ball)
and that in the real world there aren't always
fairy tale endings (or
beginnings for that matter), and that any guarantee of
"happily ever
after" must begin with you; and in the process a sense of serenity
is born
of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that
you are not perfect and that not everyone will
always love, appreciate or
approve of who or what you are... and that's OK.
(They are entitled to
their own views and opinions.) And you learn the
importance of loving and
championing yourself; and in the process a sense
of newfound confidence is born
of self-approval.
You stop bitching and
blaming other people for the things they did to you
(or didn't do for you), and
you learn that the only thing you can really
count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don't
always say what they mean or mean what they say,
and that not everyone will
always be there for you; and that it's not always
about you. So, you
learn to stand on your own, and to take care of yourself;
and in the process a
sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and
pointing fingers... and you begin to accept people as
they are, and to overlook
their shortcomings and human frailties; and in the
process a sense of peace and
contentment is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the
way you view yourself, and the world around you,
is as a result of all the
messages and opinions that have been ingrained into
your psyche. And you
begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about
how you should behave,
how you should look, and how much you should weigh; what
you should wear and
where you should shop, and what you should drive; how and
where you should
live, and what you should do for a living; who you should sleep
with, who you
should marry, and what you should expect of a marriage; the
importance of
having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.
You learn to open up to new
worlds and different points of view.
And you begin reassessing and
redefining who you are and what you really
stand for.
You learn the difference
between wanting and needing and you begin to discard
the doctrines and values
you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to
begin with; and in the
process you learn to go with your instincts.
You learn that it is truly
in giving that we receive. And that there is power
and
glory in creating and contributing; and you stop maneuvering through life
merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles
such as honesty and integrity are not the
outdated ideals of a bygone era, but
the mortar that holds together the
foundation upon which you
must build a life. You learn that you don't know
everything, it's not
your job to save the world... and that you can't teach
a pig to sing.
You learn to distinguish
between guilt and responsibility, and the
importance of setting boundaries, and
learning to say NO. You learn
that the only cross to bear is the one you
choose to carry, and that
martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about
love. Romantic love and familial love. How to
love, how much to
give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away.
You learn not
to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship.
You learn
that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable
or
important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at
relationships as they really are and not as you would
have them be. You
stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.
You learn
that just as people grow and change, so it is with love. And you
learn
that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms... just to
make you
happy.
And, you learn that alone
does not mean lonely. And you look in the mirror
and come to terms with
the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect
10, and you stop trying
to compete with the image inside your head and
agonizing over how you
"stack up."
You also stop working so
hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing
things over and ignoring your
needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement
are perfectly OK... and
that it is your right to want things and to ask for
the things that you want...
and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization
that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness,
sensitivity and respect;
and you won't settle for less. And you allow only the
hands of a lover
who cherishes you to glorify you with his touch... and in the
process you
internalize the meaning of self-respect.
And you learn that your body
really is your temple, and you begin to care
for it and treat it with
respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking
more water and taking
more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes
the spirit and
can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And,
just
as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to
laugh and to play.
You learn that for the most
part in life you get what you believe you deserve...
and that much of life
truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything
worth achieving is worth working for, and that
wishing for something to happen
is different from working toward making
it happen.
More importantly, you learn
that in order to achieve success you need
direction, discipline and
perseverance. You also learn that no one can
do it all alone and that
it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn that
the only thing you must
truly fear is the great robber baron of all time:
FEAR itself. You learn
to step right into and through your fears because
you know that whatever
happens you can handle it, and to give into fear is
to give away the right to
live life on your terms. And you learn to fight
for your life and not to squander
it living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn't
always fair, you don't always get what you think
you deserve; and that
sometimes -- bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people.
On these
occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't
punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening.
And you learn to deal with
evil in its most primal state -- the ego.
You learn that negative
feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must
be understood and redirected
or they will suffocate the life out of you,
and poison the universe that
surrounds you. You learn to admit when you
are wrong and to build bridges
instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and
to take comfort in many of the simple things
we take for granted, things that
millions of people upon the Earth can only
dream about... a full refrigerator,
clean running water, a soft warm bed, a
long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take
responsibility for yourself... by yourself; and
you make yourself a promise to
never betray yourself and to never, ever,
settle for less than your heart's
desire. And you hang a wind chime outside
your window so you can listen
to the wind. And you make it a point to keep
smiling, to keep trusting,
and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in
your heart and with God by your side you take a
stand; you take a deep breath,
and you begin to design the life you want to
live as best as you can.
Author, Unknown but are
"true words of wisdom"
This contribution came in
email from Marti Aleshire
in Aug. 2004 along with
this remark from Marti: “I received this tonight and read all the way
through
it and thought -- "this sounds like something Vette would have written”.
So did you?”
After reading it, I
completely understood why Marti would wonder if I had
written it. In fact, many of the words and sentiments are mine. The writing
style is mine. But the words are slightly different. Small changes here and
there. I would sure love to meet the person who ‘authored’ these words
though –
I believe that a DNA test would show that we had been separated
at birth. So
let us know if you know the person who ‘authored’ this
contribution – we would
really like to meet.
Vette Middleton
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